Without You
by BroadwayStarToBe
Summary: What happened that day didn't just change their summer but their lives. How do teenagers cope with life's unexpected turns. COPYRIGHT 2010 Rated M for language and a semi-rape scene, teen pregnancy, death, the whole 9 yards.
1. Here Comes Goodbye

"**Mimi"**

"Damn it!" I ran my hands over the pockets of my dark blue jeans.

"What?" Alec asked looking up from his script.

"I can't find my pen. I just had it. Nikki, Ash, did one of you take it?" I frantically searched my Coach purse. I turned to look behind me then looked at Ashley.

"Mimi," Ashley said looking to Nicolette who was sitting across from us.

"It's in my hair isn't it?" Ashley bit back a laugh.

"Yes," Nicolette said smiling, I pulled a pen out of my ponytail and Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Ten points," Angel said running his tongue over his lower lip piercing.

"Alicia does it all the time. Roll your eyes at her, Fairy," I laughed 'cause Ashley looked like a little pixie creature when her hair was back in a ponytail. I always loved making fun of her for it.

"What?" Alicia said looking up from her magazine she was hiding behind her language arts notebook.

"Mimi was just saying how you lose stuff," Graciana informed her. It was very like Alicia to not be paying attention. Graciana put her hand over Alec's. He leaned over, swept a blonde hair that was hanging over her eyes out of the way and kissed her cheek.

_**Aww! **_I mouthed at them.

_**Shut up, **_He mouthed back and she blushed which made her brown eyes look so much brighter. She looked at me with her evil Gracie look that shot nails through my soul.

"Oh. Well I'm blonde. What's your excuse?" Alicia shrugged.

"Hey. I was blonde," I ran my hands through my now, almost natural, medium brown hair.

"Keyword: was. You were also a raven color," Nicolette added.

"Shut up," I said.

"And bright red when I first met you," Angel added.

"Shut up," I said again.

"And like a golden orange," Tyler said. He and Ashley were dating again. Most people thought I'd be pissed but Tyler isn't half bad, a lot better then some of her previous boyfriends. Not to mention I've seen it coming since 7th grade.

Angel, Nikki and I have a bet. I said they'd be the first to walk down the aisle, Nikki thinks they wont last one year, but Angel thinks they'll be third to walk down the aisle. He won't tell me after whom, but I'm decently sure one of the couples is Gracie and Alec.

"Again, shut up," I said.

"Now you're more of a plain old brown," Alicia noted like it was some big secret. I rolled my eyes.

"Wow Ally, You know your colors," She stuck her tongue out at me and went back to looking at the pretty pictures, as she would call them. Alicia wasn't the sharpest person in the world but I loved her to death. She always managed to make me laugh. And when I laughed, she snorted. It was _**so**_ funny.

"Ugh! When will this day end?" Jimmy said.

"Chill. We only have a few more minutes," I told my older brother. He was totally sweet but totally impatient. I was too so maybe its genetic or something. He just shrugged and shook out his dark black hair.

"This class seems, um, uh, what was that vocabulary word we had?" Alicia said. She didn't even bother to look back in her notebook that was under her desk.. Knowing her, she probably had forgotten that she wasn't just carrying her April/May copy of Allure.

"Interminable?" Jayden said not even looking up from his drawing pad, also known as his math workbook, to answer.

"Yeah that's it!" Alicia said very proud of herself. She began to blow a bubble with her gum.

"Did you learn anything so far this year?" Jayden said glancing up. His brown eyes flickered with sparks of amusement.

"Psh I don't know," She shrugged and popped her gum.

"Wow," Jimmy and Jayden said in unison.

"Well you got to do it twice so you wouldn't know," Alicia said sticking her tongue out at him. I laughed quietly but still managed to swallow the piece of gum in my mouth. It wasn't exactly funny but it was nice when I got to take a break from making fun of him and someone else stepped in.

"As funny as that was hush. You know damn well he's brilliant and the only reason he stayed back is because he was..." I though of a nice way to say it but Angel beat me to it.

"Out for so long." He said.

"Yes. Apparently beating the crap out of the asshole who decided to call my little sister a whore will get you suspended for a minimum of three and a half months," He rolled his eyes.

"Well when you accidentally leave claw marks on the principal while he's trying to separate you two, what do you expect?" Ashley asked. She laughed and flipped her short reddish brown ponytail.

"Well its not like I meant to," He threw his hands up like he was completely innocent.

"Isn't that what everyone says?" Angel laughed.

"Well it is decently noble that you defended your sister." I pointed out. I'd probably do the same.

"Kiss up," Alicia said covering it with a cough. Jayden rolled his eyes and went back to drawing. As soon as he shifted his glance I smacked the back of her head.

"Ow! What the hell?" She clutched the back of her head. I went back to writing.

"What's wrong?" Nicolette turned towards us.

"I got hit," Alicia swung at me but I managed to duck in time.

"Mimi," Jayden said giving me a disapproving look that made me laugh. Him being serious, well trying to anyway, was just beyond funny to me.

"She has no proof," I smiled angelically and winked at Alicia. I knew at the second her nose flared that she was going to say something overly dramatic… or blonde.

"How about the bump on my head the size of Jayden's ego?" Alicia shrieked. _**I knew it. She'd do both. **_I rolled my eyes but I had to laugh when I saw Jayden's face.

__"Hey!" Jayden sounded offended.

"Guys, keep it down please," Mr. Lugo asked poking his head up from what he was reading.

"Sorry," We all said.

"Stop being such a drama queen," I laughed, "That's Angel's job." Alicia swung at me again and missed, again. I laughed to myself. _**And she thinks **_**I'm**_**blonde. **_Angel stuck his still tongue out at me and swatted my shoulder.

"Alicia, Mimi, Do I need to separate you two?" Angel asked.

"Wait. I don't have a big ego," I had a feeling Jayden wouldn't let this one go so easily. I started dying when Angel started to hum. _**A grand orchestra! Ha ha. Don't you love inside jokes?**_

"I'll be good," I said to him laughing and winked. Jayden looked up at me for an explanation but I just shook my head so he went back to drawing. I glanced over at what Jayden was drawing and saw a picture of what appeared to be a cat. Jayden was a very good artist and sometimes, well when he wasn't being an ass, it was fun to just watch him draw.

"Jayden?"

"Yes Mimi?"

"That's a nice kitty," He looked up.

"What do you want?" He smiled and raised his eyebrow.

"I need another boy's name for the book,"

"Reid. Meems?"

"Yes Jay?" I said looking up from my notebook.

"If you ask me for one more name I'm gonna shoot you."

"So I won't ask you for two male names that rhyme…?"

"God dammit Mimi." He laughed

"God? Now I know you're praying mister."

"Halleluyer."

"Hallelujah! Ah! It has an A for a reason."

"I swear, next time, next time…" He muttered pulling his hand back like he was gonna slap me. I just rolled my eyes, "Roy and Troy."

"Thanks," I smiled and wrote them in where I had the blank space. I noticed he went back to drawing. "Harmless…" I muttered to myself to quiet for him to hear. Had he heard me I would've been "Jesused".

"Okay guys," Mr. Lugo walked up to the front of the class, "Book reports are due when you come back. Have a great break guys."

"Thanks," The class said in unison.

"You too," I said. It pissed me off how teachers never got wished a nice break. I mean they have to be as tired as us as we are of them. It would make sense.

"Thanks Mimi," He said. He slyly handed me a book he promised to give me. Even though neither of us would say it I was his favorite student. The fact he was one of my best friend's dads might have had something to do with it. Ha! I started to tap my fingers on my desk while looking up at the clock. I began to tap Angel's "Today 4 U" drum solo from Rent when I felt a warm hand cover mine to stop the music.

"Stop please," Jayden said with a little kid smile. I pulled my hand from under his, moved my hand away from him, and began tapping again. Angel looked at me. I knew he recognized the song. He started to sing. We both knew all the words to the entire Broadway show. I was so happy he had the surgery. He had lost his voice due to an illness, he didn't like to talk about it so no one knows very much about it, but a bunch of our friends, including myself, raised money and we paid for half of the surgery he'd need to repair his vocal chords. Now he sounds like an angel, pardon the pun, whenever he opens his mouth.

I went back to tapping and he yet again covered my hand. I looked Jayden dead in the eyes and began to tap but before I could react or even realize what was happening, he smacked my forehead.

"Ouch! Bitch!"

"Jesus!" He laughed. I rubbed my now throbbing forehead. _**I'm gonna get you ten times worse. Just wait.**_

"I'm going to get you back, I hope you know," I smiled mischievously and winked.

"No. You're going to try. You're going to fail. And then I'll laugh and Jesus you again," He laughed and so did Alec and Jimmy. I smacked Jimmy's arm but all I had to do was look at Alec and he shut up.

"I don't know why you try to win with me. No one wins with me." _**Besides Angela anyway. **_Angela is my older sister. She joined the Marines about three years ago. I miss her. But thank god she's coming back this summer.

I had the feeling my thoughts were projected on my face because no one had a smart ass comment like usual. Even though I'm mean to them, I absolutely love my friends. I was so happy they let us all hang out in whatever class we wanted for our last period. Of course we all picked the band room.

It wasn't until I went to Jesus Jayden back that the final bell of the day rang. _**Just my luck! **_

"Finally!" The whole class screamed. I got my piano book off the shelf and walked over to where Russell was still getting his saxophone.

"Hi." I said.

"Hey." I looked towards the door and saw Jimmy and Angel. Angel winked at me and mouthed "Meet me at my locker." Jimmy just smiled at me and left. I mouthed "love ya!" back at him.

"Um, do you have plans for break?"

"Yeah, I'm going to Jamaica. It's where my parents met 20 years ago so they wanted to go back. Why?"

"Oh," I frowned _**So much for that, **_"I'll be here with nothing to do and thought you might want to hang."

"Oh. I'm sorry Mimi," He frowned slightly, "Next time?"

"Totally! How about…"

"Mimi!" Jayden said motioning me towards the door. Obviously he didn't listen to Angel tell to him to get lost. I glanced between the guys and turned back towards Russell. I was going to hear about this from Jayden later.

"Here," I wrote my number down on an index card I had tucked in my purse.

"Call me," I smiled and walked towards Jayden. He glanced back towards Russell but shifted his gaze once I saw him looking. Jayden and I walked into the hallway. I went to ask him why he looked at Russell like that but upon hearing my name I turned around.

"Mimi!" I stopped and turned around.

"Kevin?" I walked towards him questioningly.

"Autumn's gonna be late to your house," I searched his eyes to find a hint to why he knew that but when I found nothing I resorted to the old fashion way.

"Um. Okay. And you know this how?" I knew this couldn't be good. Kevin being involved with Autumn was bad news. He already broke her heart once. If he even came close to doing it again he'd disappear mysteriously. Of course **I'd** know absolutely nothing about it though. I snickered to myself. I knew I was harmless and my friends knew I was harmless but it was still fun to imagine I wasn't.

"She asked me to tell you," He shrugged and walked away.

"Weird," I muttered. I glanced around and saw Jayden hadn't waited for me. _**Jerk!**_ I looked around and saw him at Christine's locker. He laughed and she blushed as he took a strand of her medium blonde and pushed it behind her ear. I rolled my eyes and walked to my locker.

So he likes Autumn and is probably hooking up with Christine _again_. _**Great!**_ I can't wait to tell Autumn. Ha ha! I was at my locker when a pair of warm hands covered my eyes.

"Jayden?" I heard a warm laugh.

"How did you know?" He grabbed the books from the top of my locker that I was too short to reach. _**Curse being 4'10.**_ He got on the ground next to me and put them in my messenger bag.

"Thanks." I didn't intent for my voice to sound that sour. Sure, I was happy I finally had dirt on him but the fact that if Autumn liked him back that he'd be playing her weighted on my mind.

"What's wrong boo?" God, I hate when he calls me that. Maybe if it was a special name for just me I would like it but the fact he calls every girl that makes me sick to my stomach. That means what? I'm just another one of his little human puppets? Ha ha! Right.

"Nothing. Why?" I figured if I pretended I wasn't mad he wouldn't figure out my devious plan.

"You sound upset," He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him, "You're a horrible liar."

"Yet somehow I'm a good actress?" _**Let's change the subject**_.

"Yeah. I never understood that," He took the books and papers out of my locker and put them in my bag. _**Yes! **_It worked. I looked into my locker and saw it was empty.

"I'm here," Angel walked up to me and put his Ed Hardy sunglasses on. He handed me my yellow and paint splattered glasses. I guess I left them in his car when he picked me up this morning. They are my all time favorite glasses, and my only for that matter, but I love them regardless. They were a gift from a truly amazing singer, dancer, and actor. Angel! Ha ha. Not to mention he bought them from a cute little street store in NYC. As he describes it: "I bought them legally. How he got them? I don't know."

"Are you good?" Jayden smiled and put my messenger back over his shoulder. I shot him a look. "What would **you** prefer to carry it?" He laughed.

"Such a gentleman," Angel said playing with his lower lip piercing. He knew everything that I knew about him. Angel was my adopted brother, well not really but for all intents and purposes he was, and partner in crime. We began to walk down the stairs and Jayden turned back to me.

"So you never answered me. Why are you pissed?" _**Crap! Not this again. **_I put my sunglasses on.

"Don't worry. It's nothing. Nothing at all," I pulled my messenger bag out of his hands and took off down the stairs. I heard him laugh and I knew they were both flying down the stairs after me. I guess I could forget about the past for a minute and just have fun. I mean isn't that what life is about? Just living? Who knows? But one thing is for sure, this will be the summer of Marcela Camilla Conord. Not just this summer but every summer. From now on. Now and always.

I hit the floor first. I turned and smiled at them. Jayden came at me and picked me up off the ground. I started to wiggle.

"Put me down!" It's kinda hard to be serious while laughing

"Never!" He smiled and spun me around until I was dizzy. He put me down on my feet and I fell. He laughed and ran off. I rolled my eyes and tried to regain sight. I felt hands on my waist and was picked up to see Angel.

"Thanks babe," I picked up my messenger bag.

"So what's wrong?" He linked his arm in mine.

"So basically, he's using Christine," I rolled my eyes, "Again."

"Oh God!" He rolled his eyes too.

"I know. I can't wait to tell Autumn!" I smiled evilly.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" He looked at me. The epicness of the moment was kind of screwed up by the fact that we were both wearing sunglasses and couldn't see each others eyes.

"Hell yes! We've been waiting for dirt like this forever," I shook my head, "Are you drunk? You know what I think of you're drinking…"

"Shh!" He pointed to the teachers we were passing on our way out the front door of the school. "No I'm not drunk."

"High?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Shut up. I don't do drugs." He nudged my shoulder. He never hit me. I liked that about him. He just kind of nudged or swatted me. He was a true gentleman. I admired that.

"Then what?" By now we were at his black 2005 Hyundai Sonata. I pulled the door passenger side door open and got in. I tugged gently at the pink and black scarf he tied around the head rest. I loved his car. I looked at the time. 3:17 pm. I knew I'd remember that time as it was the end of my junior year of high school. I was officially a senior.

"Well, I've been thinking," He started the car and turned the radio down a little. There was always music on in his car no matter what else was going on so it seemed pointless to change that for a small conversation.

"If Autumn legit likes him," I frowned, "Sorry kiddo but it could very well be true. But anyway, if she likes him would you want to be the one to ruin what could be a good relationship for one of your best friends?"

"But it wouldn't be a good relationship," I clicked my seatbelt, "He's a player and he's just well. Ugh Culo sucio!"

"Mimi. Please, there's no need to curse in Spanish."

"Okay, he's a dirty ass! Better? Ha ha." I smiled and he laughed.

"No. Not really," He rolled his eyes and we laughed, "Well back to seriousness. It could be a good relationship. He's a Scorpio, They are flirtatious but when they like someone they're loyal as hell," He smiled, "I'd know." I shrugged.

"I didn't know hell was loyal. But okay. You win for now, but shh don't tell the others I let you win," I reached for the stereo, "Now shut up. It's music time!" We both laughed and started to belt. I smiled really big and paused for a second.

"What?" He asked turning the music down.

"Nothing. You just have a gorgeous voice," I smiled and he smiled back while turning the radio back up.

"Thanks," He pulled into my driveway and we belted until the song finished. I got out of the car as he got his CD holder. He kicked his leg up getting out and locking the car.

"Show off." I winked at him. He just smiled and shut the door. I walked up to my house and unlocked the front door. I turned my key but took a step back when I heard a car skid around our corner. It was Jayden and Alec. Alec was out of the car before it stopped.

"Are you okay?" Angel asked. Alec looked out of it. I locked the house back up and put my key in my pocket. I had a sickening feeling we wouldn't be here long.

"No. Graciana and Jimmy got into a car accident. They were…" I started to hyperventilate. I didn't hear anything else until Angel started to talk.

"Get back in the car. What hospital are they at?" Angel was already unlocking his car. Alec was halfway in the Jayden's red 1995 ford pick-up already.

"Rahway." Jayden called out the driver window. I didn't realize I hadn't moved until Angel picked me up. He was smart. I tried to say I could walk but nothing came out. He put me in the passenger seat and buckled my seatbelt for me.

I just stared into space on the ride there. It was like I was trapped in my own skin. I think I started to cry but I wasn't sure. I was too numb all over to really know what I was doing.

Somewhere inside my head, there was a part that was working and telling me to breathe. It also noticed that he turned the radio off when we first got in. I'd turn it on if I could move. My brain drifted back to when I first met him, I knew with certainty this was the first time there was no music on.


	2. Forever And Always

**"Graciana"**

**" I'll meet you at Mimi's house," Alec leaned over and kissed my cheek. I felt sparks explode under my skin. Mimi was right. We are perfect. I feel horrible for everything I put him through in the past I'm just happy I can change it all now. **

** "M'kay," I smiled and kissed his lips.**

** "Unless you want me to come with you," He picked me up off the ground and pulled me in for another kiss. This time he had no problem holding me as close to him as we could be. He pulled away and put me back on the ground, "I'd be fine with that too."**

** "I know you would," I got on my tiptoes so I could wrap my arms around his neck. He really grew since when we first dated. I should probably get heels like Mimi suggested so I could reach him, "But I'll be fine going with Jimmy and besides you have to talk to Jayden about your auditions next week." I kissed him on the lips again.**

** "Okay baby, as long as you'll be okay," I smiled. He was such a sweetheart.**

** "I will be. I promise," I took my backpack out of my locker and shoved everything in it. I knew it'd be really heavy but I just wanted to get the hell out of this school. I got up and reached for my backpack but he got it before I could.**

** "Can I have my bag please?" I had the feeling I already knew the answer.**

** "No," He smiled and held his hand out. I willingly took it in my own. **_**Home.**_** I thought to myself. I touched my lip and thought about how often I kissed him or he kissed me. I guess we just wanted to make up for all the time we lost. **

** We ignored all the looks and "aww"s from everyone as we left out the front doors of the building. I saw Angel and Mimi get into his car. We got to my little itsy bitsy car and I pulled the keys out of my purse. While I unlocked the door he managed to get to the other side of my car. I opened the door and checked the time. 3:18pm. I was officially a junior and Alec was officially a senior. This was gonna be a good summer. This was gonna be a good year. This was gonna be a good life.**

**I hit unlock and he put my bag in the back seat. Before I could blink he was back at my side. He leaned inside the car, grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me with a passion. It was like someone set off a million fireworks inside my heart, in a good way. He took my breath away. When he pulled away I was mesmerized. Like usual.**

** "I love you Alec," I whispered. I would've said it louder but I heard Jimmy walking around my car and opening the passenger side door. He leaned over and at first I thought he was going to kiss me but he just tickled me. I couldn't breath. He stopped and laughed.**

** "I love you too my Gracie," He whispered back, "Now and always."**


	3. Live Like We're Dying

"Jimmy"

"I love you Alec," she whispered. I knew she was only being quiet because she heard me getting in. They weren't very good at whispering but I wasn't going to ruin their moment. He leaned in to tickle her and they both laughed.

"I love you too my Gracie," I could tell how in love they were, "Now and always." I opened my door and got in. She pulled her legs in and put her hand against the window as he gently closed her door. He smiled at her and walked away. She sighed deeply and smiled. I laughed.

"Shut up," She turned the car on and leaned over to put her seat belt on. She pulled and tugged at it, "Damn it."

"What?" I pulled my pocket knife out of my pocket and started fiddling with it.

"This stupid seatbelt doesn't work."

"I can fix it," I smiled, "I'm pretty good with cars."

"Thanks you can fix it when we get to Mimi's house," She finally got it to click, "Put yours on."

"What are you my mom?" I laughed.

"Please just listen to me," She turned the radio on.

"Fine," I sighed and put it on. I took the part that crossed over my chest behind my back. I hated wearing it.

"Thanks Hun," She pulled out of the parking lot and got onto the main road.

"I'm free at last! I'm now a freshman at the Manhattan school of music," I yelled, "And you're a junior."

This was great I was so happy. And if the fact that I was turning 19 in two days wasn't enough, my mom told me she'd buy me my first new car. Life is good.

"Hell yeah!" She screamed.

As we were pulling around the corner I noticed a big puddle of water. The person who lived there was washing their car and the water and soap had run onto the road. I realized too late even though Gracie was driving like she should that the car wouldn't be able to get through the puddle safely.

"Graciana!" That was all I could say. I blinked and the car flipped over.

I hit the ceiling which was now the floor. I wished I had put my seatbelt on. I felt glass in my arm. I guess it went through the window. In that moment I saw my life flash before my eyes but I didn't care. I unhooked my seat belt.

When the last of my body hit the ceiling I felt the air rush out of my lungs. That didn't stop me from what I knew I had to do. I leaned over and slashed Gracie's belt with my pocket knife. I knew she wouldn't be able to get it off. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Keep your eyes open. Don't speak. Listen," I started to cry, "I'm not gonna make it Gracie. You will. Leave me. Get out of the car." She started to cry.

"No! I can't just leave you here." By now we were both sobbing.

"Yes you can. Listen. There's… box under my bed. Get help, tell someone to go get it. There are letters. Tell Angel and Jayden… take care of Mimi." I took a deep breath leaned over and kissed her head, "Tell everyone I love them. Go. Alec needs you." She tried to argue. "For me?" She nodded and tears kept running down her face. She turned away from me and climbed out the window. She looked back.

"Go!" I said. I meant for it to sound demanding but it came out a faint mutter. I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy my life flashing before my eyes. I lived a good life. I felt myself slipping into the darkness. I forced myself to open my eyes one more time to make sure Gracie was out of the car. I took a deep breath, my last breath and let the darkness take over.


	4. I'll Stand By You

"Angel."

I pulled my keys out of the ignition. I looked at Mimi, who was pale as a ghost and not moving. Her usually sparkle filled eyes were rimmed with tears and looked dull. I took a deep breath. I needed to keep myself together for Mimi.

I unlocked the door and walked to her door. I opened it and put my hand on her shoulder. I took another breath and braced myself.

"Mimi?" I gave her time to answer but she remained silent, "Mimi sweetheart, you need to move. We need to be strong for everyone. I can't carry you in. We can't worry them anymore then they already are." I was about 5 seconds from just carrying her in, I was sure as hell not gonna leave her alone.

I leaned in to get her when she opened her mouth to say something. I took a step back. She nodded when she realized nothing was gonna come out. She got out slowly. I put my arm around her waist. I wasn't sure how stable or unstable she was right now and I wasn't going to take any chances.

We walked through the ER doors. I noticed who was there and who was missing. Alec was in a corner single chair just staring into space. His sister, Jaylyn was sitting in the seat next to him looking worriedly around the room. Tyler and Ashley were standing, he had his arms wrapped around her waist. Adelina, Alicia's twin sister, was sitting on the floor next to Jayden. Alicia was leaning against a wall and chewing her nails. Nikki was lying down, looking at the ceiling, on the floor by Tyler and Ashley. Everyone, except Ashley who was silently sobbing was on the verge of tears.

Mimi tried to pull away from me but stumbled. I caught her and she just buried herself in my chest. I held her close and tried not to cry. She pulled away from me and looked up at me with sad eyes. Her eyes changed colors depending on her mood. Right now they were a very sad faded brown. I missed her usual silver blue.

Jayden coughed, we all looked up as a young doctor who looked very familiar walked towards us. He had dark brown hair and very young looking brown eyes. I knew him from somewhere. _**Maybe work?**_

"Hi everyone," He solemnly looked around the room. We all nodded in his direction, "I'm Dr. Samuel Garcia. I graduated when a few of you were freshmen." _**Oh! That's where I know him from.**_

Those of us who were up to talking muttered hellos. I was the only one who could really make sentences.

"Yeah, you dated my older sister, Jessica," I said.

"You mean Pixie?" I nodded and he gave me a brief smile. It got really quiet for a few minutes.

"My girlfriend," Alec ended the silence, "Is she…?" He stuttered until Sam interrupted him.

"You must be Mr. Gottlick. Graciana Mozdzierz is recovering. She's waking up now, you probably want to see her," He looked behind him. "Sean!" An even younger man came over. Sam looked at Alec, "This is Dr. Twerdak." He looked back at Sean, "Take him to room 1117." The man nodded and Alec followed him. As he walked by, Alec squeezed Mimi's hand. Mimi looked up at me. She hadn't said a word since we left her house. I knew what she wanted me to do.

"What about Jimmy?" Everyone looked back up at him. He frowned.

"James was just moved to the ICU," A few people looked confused, "The intensive care unit. He hasn't woken up yet. His condition isn't good. He lost a lot of blood and has a lot of internal bleeding. I'm sorry to say he probably won't make it through the night." As soon as he said that Mimi started to slip out of my arms. Her eyes closed and I knew she passed out. I picked her up in my arms and sat on a couch. Everyone started to cry.

"Is she okay?" Samuel asked. He took a step towards me.

"No she's not," Jayden snapped, "You basically just told her that her brother is going to die! Are you…" Tyler unwrapped himself from Ashley.

"Could you try not to be an ass for once?" Tyler looked beyond pissed, "This is hard enough on us all without you flipping out on the doctor. Shut up and sit down." Jayden looked like he was gonna say something but he decided to keep quiet. _**Finally he was thinking.**_ Tyler went back to Ashley. Jayden sat down next to me and stroked Mimi's head. I wanted to take his hand off her but I decided it wasn't worth it. The next few days were going to be hard enough as it is.

"You are welcome to see him if you'd like," Dr. Garcia looked like he was in pain for us, "You should call his parents." Sam said he had to go so he left with that. We all decided Jayden should go make phone calls.

When everyone got there I told them Mimi was asleep. They didn't need anymore stress. People cried all day. I managed to hold myself together. Everyone was so surprised that I was the strong one. I probably would've been offended had the circumstances been different.

"Angel?" Jayden had come back in the room after going to assure her parent that Mimi was okay. It was the only time he left her side. I had a very bad feeling about his unusual "need" to be near her. I looked up from counting the circles on the carpeted floor.

"Yes Jayden?" I was so not in the mood for anything right now.

"I think we should take Mimi home," I nodded. That was probably a good idea.

"Do you want me to carry her?" He went to pick her up. I nodded. He pulled her into his arms and we went outside.

"I'll let someone know we're leaving." He nodded and I unlocked the car so he could get her into the backseat. I walked back into the ER. _**God, I need a cigarette.**_ I thought.

"Hey," Alec was the first person I saw. He looked up at me. I could tell he was happy that his Gracie was okay. I couldn't hate him for that. Especially when I know that he's worried about Mimi, he's probably imagining what it would be like if it was Gracie instead of Jimmy.

"What's up?" He said.

"Me and Jayden are gonna take Mimi home," He nodded. As I went to leave he stopped me.

"Gracie said something about a box under Jimmy's bed," He looked around to make sure none of Jimmy's family was around, "Get it. Find out what's in it," I nodded and left.

I got in the car and noticed Jayden was in the back with Mimi. I got in and started the car. I just sat there for a minute. I tried to sort out my thoughts. _**The box, **_I thought. I nodded and started to drive.

It seemed like no time passed when we got to Mimi's house. I got out and opened the back door. Jayden stepped out and leaned back in to get Mimi. I got to the door and pulled at it thinking it'd be unlocked. I was, of course, wrong.

"Crap," Jayden said, "We don't have keys."

"What do you mean 'we'?" I smiled. I pulled out my keys, "I don't know about you but I'm family," I took my key and unlocked the door.

I stepped in first and cleaned off the couch. He put her down and I felt her forehead. She was freezing.

"Go get her a blanket, Jay," He nodded and left the room. I stroked her head.

"It'll be okay kiddo," I knew she couldn't hear me but it made me feel better just to say it, "I promise."

The next thing I knew Jayden was back with a blanket. He put it on her and tucked her in. I looked up at him and back at her. I think we had a movie moment. If this hadn't been such a crappy situation my "gaydar" probably would've played the usual symphony I hear whenever he's around.

In that instant I remembered the box. I left the room without a word to Jayden. I could feel his eyes follow me out. I walked down the hallway and up the stairs to Jimmy's room. I got on my stomach and pulled the stuff out from under the bed.

_**A couple blankets, a photo album, clothes, a big teddy bear, a cigar box! Yes! **_

I pulled the box out and walked back to the living room. Jayden was sitting on the floor by Mimi's head. I sat down on the other couch and took a deep breath. I counted to ten and took another breath. I fiddled with the lock that only I would just notice now. It didn't take much effort to pop it off. _**All you have to do is lift the lid,**_ I reminded myself, _**here goes nothing**_. My heart rose to my throat when I opened the lid.

The inside of the box was lined with a red velvet material that was soft to the touch. The top was just oak wood. There was a message engraved in the top:

"I have always thought of life morbidly so it made sense to leave death letters to my loved ones if something were to happen to me.

~Jimmy."

I leafed through the letters as Jayden got up and stood above me. I found his letter and handed it to him. He opened it and sat down in front of the fireplace while he read it. I found Mimi's and put it on the side table. About halfway through the pile of letters I found mine. I took in a deeper breath then any I already took that day and peeled open the letter slowly.

Angel,

I started off every letter the same, if you are reading this either you got into my room and went through my stuff (If this is true: **Get the hell out of here creeper**!) or something happened to me. If something did in fact happen to me I'd like to apologize for anything my absence might do to any of you. I wish life didn't end so abruptly but it does.

Now I would like to talk to you personally, Angel. I haven't known you very long and I honestly don't know you very well. Hell, I probably wouldn't even know you if Mimi hadn't "adopted" you into the family. But I needed to write a letter to you. Your letter is probably the most important of all the letters I'll write.

Of all my friends and family, I know you are the one I need to ask for this favor. Take care of Marcela, or as most of you know her, Mimi. She is a strong girl. One of the strongest I know but she will try to act like everything is okay. She is not okay.

I want to tell you a family secret of ours. I know you will take it to the grave with you as all of our family will. Mimi is quite ashamed of her past. Mimi's adopted. Normally, when people ask her why she looks so different from me and Angela she says she just got our grandmother's genes. She became part of our family when she was 7, at the time I was 9. Her biological parents were abusive, alcoholics and junkies. We've tried to track down her other biological family members but we had no luck. All we know is she has a twin brother. He was adopted a couple months after being put in a foster home. Sadly, the parents couldn't afford two of them so they had to be separated. We never learned much more about him though. It's very painful for her.

Anyway, She was put into the foster parent system when she was 5 years old. She has always had abandonment issues. Before she came to us she had lived in 15 different foster homes in two years. None of them wanted to deal with a small child who had that much baggage.

When she came to live with us it took her three years before she could accept the fact that we wouldn't leave her. Once she accepted that, we felt comfortable moving from Bellemead to here when it was time for her to enter middle school. She still has nightmares about us leaving her and sometimes she still wakes up during the night screaming.

I have always been her shoulder to cry on and I was always there to give her the sense of security she needs. With me gone I don't know if she'll be able to handle herself. She'll act strong for our family and friends but I fear she'll be dying on the inside. Angel, I beg you with all my heart to take care of her. I also told Jayden to keep an eye on her but I know he doesn't understand how to truly care for others yet. You do. And I know you love her as much as I do. Take care of her for me.

Lastly, on a more personal note, stay true to yourself. You know who you are and we all know who you are. People will put you down for it but just keep your head held high and smile. Now and always. I know it'll be hard at times but it'll be worth it in the end.

~James Richard Conord.

_**Wow,**_ I thought to myself. I never would've guessed Mimi was adopted. Sadly, I knew how it felt, at age 5 I lost my sister too. Her name was Camilla. We were separated when we were adopted. I heard Jayden clear his throat.

I looked up at Jayden. He was finished with his letter and was waiting for me to finish too. His eyes were red but he wasn't crying. He bit back a smile. I touched my eyes and realized I was sobbing. He threw a tissue box that was on the mantle at me.

"Bitch," I muttered. We both laughed briefly.

Mimi shifted and we both got up. I sat down on the floor by her head and he sat by her feet. She opened her eyes, bolted upright and started to cry.

"I just had the worst dream…" She looked at my tear soaked eyes and started sobbing, "It wasn't a dream."

I got up and sat next to her. She collapsed on my lap. Jayden and I exchanged a sad look and we both started to cry with her.

After what seemed like forever, she calmed down. She got up and wobbled a little but managed to regain her balance. She walked upstairs leaving me and Jayden alone. My mind drifted back to the info packed letter. _**Mimi and I were both put up for adoption at age 5. She lost her twin brother, I lost my twin sister.**_ Leave it to Jayden to yet again interrupt my thoughts.

"When are you gonna tell her about the letters?" He asked me while getting up and leaning against the fireplace mantle.

"Could you use your head for once? Do you really think now is a good time?" I shook my head and stretched my legs.

"You're right," He nodded and took a deep breath. Silence settled the room until Mimi came back. She was wearing a baggy t-shirt and pair of denim shorts. She also traded her black pumps for her silver sparkle Airwalks. She walked over to the key rack and grabbed the keys to her 2001 silver Jeep Liberty.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You, my dear, are not driving anywhere," I said getting up and grabbing the keys out of her hands.

"I want to see my brother," She reached for her keys, "Now."

"Okay kiddo," She went to take the keys back, "But I'm driving," She looked like she wanted to argue but she just opened the door and walked out. I put her keys in my pocket, unlocked my car, and started it using my little remote so she could get in.

When we got to the hospital she was out of the car before I stopped. Jayden took off after her while I parked. By the time I got inside she was already in Jimmy's room. She was standing by his head. She glanced at all the wires, tubes and machinery. I knew by the numb expression on her face that she was done crying. Now, when** I** looked at the tubes connecting to someone I considered a brother, I got sick to my stomach.

It was 9p.m. when the last of his family went home. The only people left were Me, Meems, Her parents, Ashley, Jayden, and Adelina. Alec was also here but he was in Gracie's room while the rest of us were with Jimmy. No one talked very much. Not unless it was to send Jayden out for coffee or food. We had all pulled an all-nighter yesterday because it was our last day of school. Not such a good idea on second thought. But then again no one would have ever imagined this happening in a million years. At 11:43 p.m. we sent Jayden out to get more coffee.

When he got back we were all sitting in chairs or on the floor when the doctor walked in to check on us.

"Hi guys," He gave us a small grin.

"Hi Sam," Jayden and I said together. For the first time I can remember we were thinking the same. It's weird, I know.

Sam fiddled with some of the machines and played with the buttons. We all looked up at him for an explanation. He looked at Mimi nervously.

"He hasn't gotten better," He glanced at Me. I slid across the floor so I could be next to Mimi just in case, "If anything he's gotten worse."

"How long do we have left?" We were all surprised that Mimi spoke let alone about this.

"About an hour," He looked sad, "I'm sorry guys." He left. I looked at Mimi. She didn't move.

"It's okay Hun," I told her. She started to cry and fell over onto my lap. She sobbed for what seemed like forever. It was when she was crying that I noticed I hadn't thought about the whole adoption thing. I hadn't had the time.

Once she stopped crying there was a sickening noise. We all knew what it meant but we hated the fact that it was happening. The machine that monitored Jimmy's heartbeat emitted the noise that stood for a heart stopping and the green line went flat.

"Code blue in the ICU. Room 514." In less then a minute the room flooded with people and we were forced into the hallway. We all stood there not moving, for what seemed like forever, trying desperately to hear what they were saying. But no one heard anything until someone cracked open the door.

"So we are all agreed," A female voice said. There was a pause of silence. The next words left all of us sobbing and Mimi limp, but not unconscious this time, in my arms.

"Let's call it," Dr. Garcia said. There was a pause, "Time of death, 1:23 a.m."


	5. My Endless Love

"Adelina"

"How did you feel when you heard those words?" She looked up at me with her false sympathetic eyes.

"It was like my nightmares," I said putting my head against the back of the couch. The fake leather was always freezing. For once I appreciated it. We've been going back in forth question and answer for a good two hours now and my head was throbbing.

"You only knew him for a year how could you get that attached?" My psychologist leaned back in her chair. I knew what she wanted from me. She wants me to spill my guts for her. The more I tell her, the more my mom pays her, blah blah blah. Frankly, I don't know why I'm here anymore. Four years ago my dad got into a car accident and died. I've been going here ever since. When it first happened I stopped eating and sleeping but I haven't had any issues since about 2 ½ years ago. My mom is wasting her money.

"Or more relevant, are you having problems because you lost your friend or because now you have to relive you father's death?" _**Not this crap again!**_

__"No Dr. Reyes. See unlike a lot of people I don't hide my problems behind other issues."

"So where do you hide your problems?" She wrote something on a piece of paper and tucked it in my "folder".

"Nevermind," I got up and left the room. She called after me but I left. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jayden get up and follow me out of the office. I got into his truck and slammed the door. The entire car rattled.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" He got in and looked at me.  
"Not really," I put my seatbelt on and leaned my head against the head rest.

"Okay. Do you want to go visit Mimi with me? I could drop you home is you want..."

"No. I'll go. She probably needs someone around."

"Angel's been staying there since he died but she's not taking it well at all." Jay shook his head, "Poor Meems."

"She hasn't been singing," I shook my head sadly. "I talked to Angel yesterday. He's really worried about her."

"I think we all are. She's such a bubbly person and it's like she just died." He looked at me as the blood left my face, "Bad choice of words, Sorry."

"I know." That was all that we said on the way out of the doctor's office parking lot.

He pulled onto St. George. As we passed my old dance studio, I closed my eyes and I think I fell asleep because when I opened my eyes I was in Mimi's and Jimmy's driveway. Well I guess it was just Mimi's now. I started to cry. My best friend has been dead for two weeks as of tomorrow. I made it through the wake and funeral but now I'm letting myself break down. I at least deserve to be sad for a little while. Right?

I knew from the minute I met Jimmy I was going to make him mine. Yeah, he was three years older then me and I was just a freshman and he was a junior but I didn't care. He was perfect for me. We have been dating secretly since June of last year. Today would have been one year. I started to cry even harder.

Only Mimi and Angel knew. If he knew, Jayden would've probably killed him. But neither of us cared. He was amazing. I would've done anything to be with him. I even snuck out of my house at midnight a couple weeks ago to be with him. We were inseparable. We never talked about it but we both knew we'd get married as soon as I finished high school. He loved me. I loved him.

I got out of the car, dried my tears and walked into Mimi's house. Jayden was sitting at the piano playing mindlessly. He hasn't done much but play lately. I think he's writing a song. Mimi was perched on a corner of the couch with her feet tucked under her. Angel came out from the kitchen and smiled briefly. He handed Mimi a cup of tea.

"The waters ready if either of you want tea or anything," He tapped Jayden's back.

"Thanks," I sat down on the couch opposite Mimi and tried to get her attention. She just stared into space. I gave up and Angel sat next to me.

"How've you been Hun?" He put his arm around my shoulders.

"I'm fine," I managed a smile without choking. He squeezed me and nodded. I let out a small choke. He kissed my cheek. He understood.

"You want anything? It's almost dinner time," He looked at Jayden, "You are both welcome to stay."

"I'm not really hungry," I haven't eaten in six days. I tried to yesterday but I puked. I can't keep anything in my stomach.

"You haven't eaten since last Tuesday. It's Monday," Jayden said getting up from the piano.

"I ate yesterday," _**A little lie wouldn't hurt.**_

"You threw it up," He rolled his eyes.

"I'll make something," Angel got up and went back to the kitchen. Mimi looked up and leaned over to me.

"Don't worry," She half smiled, "He made me eat too. It feels bad at first but you get back into the habit."

"I just, it's like I died," I knew she understood.

"I know." She got up and sat next to me. She wrapped her arms around me and we cried. She dried her eyes.

"Anyway, Angel's cooking is better then anything Jayden would force down your throat," I laughed and she dried my tears. She was a strong girl.

"Hey!" Jayden got up from the piano and sat on the couch across from us. "I'm right here!" We laughed and turned the TV on.

I miss him so much. The entire house is so empty without him slamming on his drums or playing death metal music just to annoy Mimi. It was like a part of everyone was missing. I was missing my heart, Angel was missing his soul and Mimi was missing her music.

"Hey guys," We all looked towards the door and saw Sam. After Jimmy's death he put himself back into our little family.

"Hi Sam." All our jaws, except for Mimi's, dropped when we saw who came bouncing in behind him holding his hand. Angel walked in as Autumn spun around into Sam's arms.

"And Autumn," Mimi said looking at Angel with a smug smile. Angel looked back at her with the same look. Mimi leaned into my shoulder and whispered into my ear, "I did that." I looked at her in awe. I would've payed to do that. We all turned to Jayden whose face turned bright pink.

"I'm gonna go get some tea," With that he left the room. Mimi got up and walked upstairs. Angel watched her leave.

"We need to do something," Angel said looking at us all, "She's scaring me." We all nodded. Sam let go of Autumn's hand and sat down on the couch.

"I agree. She's not herself anymore," Autumn sat down on Sam's lap as Jayden came in.

"Mimi?" Jay asked sipping his tea. We all nodded again. Jayden looked towards Autumn with sad eyes, "We need to come up with..." The room fell silent as Mimi came back in with her laptop. She's been writing on her computer almost nonstop since he died. I bit back tears. No one finds it odd when people randomly get choked up around here. It's actually quite normal now. I don't think that it's a good thing.

"Do you two wanna stay for dinner?" Angel got up and walked over to Sam and Autumn. They both nodded.

"How long have you two been," Jayden choked slightly, "together?"

"A while." Autumn looked at Sam and he winked.

"That's great." Mimi smiled brightly at them and winked.

"So what does anyone want for dinner?" Angel walked towards the kitchen.

"Nothing too heavy." Mimi patted my leg and smiled.

I think that night was the only night i didn't wake up crying or screaming. I stayed over Mimi's house. Her parents went to visit their parents in Puerto Rico while Angel was taking care of Mimi. They trusted him a lot. He is like a big brother to everyone. He got me to eat and he convinced my mom I should stay over that night. He was my saving grace. He was Mimi's too. I woke up before Mimi but not quite early enough to beat Angel to the TV. He looked up as I entered the room.

"Is Mimi up yet?" He asked standing up. I shook my head no and rubbed my eyes.

"Why?" I asked.

"I have something for you." He walked over to the kitchen table and rummaged through his stuff. He pulled out a cigar box and handed me an envelope from inside.

"Jimmy wrote it," I ran my fingers over my name written in his perfect script handwriting. "I don't think Mimi is ready to see her letter just yet." I nodded and sat in the kitchen chair. I opened the envelope and pulled out the last thing i would ever have from the love of my life. I looked at the folded paper and Angel probably thought I was insane. I couldn't bring myself to unfold it just yet. It took me what felt like forever before I unfolded the light blue stationary I got him for his birthday. I pulled the paper close to my face. It smelled like his cologne. I knew as I held it this was the last thing I'd ever have to remember him by.

Adelina,

I started off every letter the same, if you are reading this either you got into my room and went through my stuff (If this is true: **Get the hell out of here creeper**!) or something happened to me. If something did in fact happen to me I'd like to apologize for anything my absence might do to any of you. I wish life didn't end so abruptly but it does.

Now, Adelina, my angel, my love, my life. I'm so sorry. I know what you must be going through and if there is a place where I can watch after you know I'm there crying with you. But you have to move on. You are beautiful, smart, funny, talented, you are such a wonderful person and your smile is contagious. Any guy would be lucky to have you, I know I was. You need to find someone else to make you happy. I would hate myself for all eternity if I knew you would spend your life unhappy because of me.

You deserve love, happiness and everything that I wasn't able to give you. Many people spend their lives searching for their soul mate, the one as some say. But I was lucky. I found you. Now I know it hurts and you will need time to move on but you deserve someone to cherish you. To hold you when your lonely. To comfort you when your sad and to wipe away any tears you cry. To support you and all your dreams. To love you with all their heart and all their soul. I can't do that for you anymore. You deserve love. You deserve more then love. Now and always.

You have to let me go. I wish we could be together and one day we will meet again but until then you need to stay strong. I love you more then you could ever know. I'll miss you. You are my world. Move on. It's what you deserve my love.

~James Richard Conord.

I looked up at Angel and began to sob hysterically. He held me until I stopped crying. In that moment I understood exactly how much I loved my Jimmy. And now he was gone. I closed my eyes and drifted into a dark place.

I didn't wake up until the sun was going down. I noticed Angel had tucked my letter in my purse. I had a feeling i wouldn't be able to look at again for a very long time.


	6. Breakeven

"Alec"

I walked up the all too familiar path in front of Rahway Middle School. I scoffed at the irony. Here is where I met Graciana. We shared our first kiss. She broke up with me. We got back together. Everything we've ever been through happened here. And now I pass as preparing to have my heart shattered, again.

I love Gracie. She means the world to me. I know her so well. And the tone of her voice asking me to come over so we could "talk" was enough indication of what I had to prepare for. She was doing it again. She was punishing me for loving her too much. She did it when we first started dating too. History repeats itself I guess.

I got to her door and rang the doorbell. I sighed as she opened the door.

"Hey." She smiled and went to hug me but I pulled away. If I couldn't tell what was coming by the tone of her voice I knew by the fact that she didn't kiss me.

"Hello Gracie." I looked her in the eyes. "I know why I'm here. Just get it over with." I sighed and she looked at me with awe.

"So it's mutual." She raised her eyebrows. I laughed.

"No it's not mutual Gracie. You want to end it and I don't want you unhappy so just do it." She frowned and reached out to touch me. I pulled away.

"Don't." I shook my head. "Just do it."

"Alec. I like you. You're smart, funny, cute but we're not working out. I can't tell you why but I have to end it."

"I knew it." I looked up at her.

"How?" She shook her head.

"I know you Graciana. And you aren't the best at hiding things." She shrugged.

"Are you alright?" She took another step towards me but I moved back.

"Yeah. Just fine. Why wouldn't I be? I mean the girl I loved just broke my heart but yeah I'm great." She opened her mouth.

"Graciana! Mom wants you!" Autumn leaned out her bedroom window. "Oh. Hi Alec!" She waved and ducked back inside.

"I gotta..." She looked up. "Crap! It's raining." With that she left me. Alone. Heartbroken. Confused. In the rain.


	7. Need You Now

"Ashley."

The rain depresses me. Yesterday I broke up with Tyler and now I'm just sitting, staring out my bedroom window. I don't regret it though. We are meant to be friends. Nothing more.

And yet, I can't help feeling bittersweet. I broke up with Tyler because I like someone else. I broke up with Tyler because I love Alec. I realized recently that the few times I dated him weren't enough. He was like a drug. But it's quarter after one and I have no one to turn to. Alec is with Gracie.

I turned to grab my phone when I saw the caller ID flash with Tyler's picture. I hit ignore. He's been calling and texting nonstop. This is call 358 in the past 24 hours. He wants to "work it out."

But I don't.

I heard my door open as Nikki walked in. I looked up at her. She looked at me questioningly as I yet again hit ignore.

"I broke up with Tyler. He wont stop calling!" I rolled my eyes and she took out her phone.

"Wow. Gimme one second." She dialed someone and put the phone to her ear. "Hey Angel. It's Nicolette. Put me on speaker. Hey Mimi! Yeah so they broke up and now the both of you owe me 20 buck. EACH! Haha." She hung up. I laughed.

"I'm glad my failed relationship earned you 40 bucks." She smiles and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"Do you want to talk about it." I laughed.

"What's there to say. I love Alec so I broke up with Tyler. He loves Graciana so he's with her."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"It'll work out Asher."

"I hate when you do that!" I laughed.

"Do what?" She smiled innocently.

"Call me Asher. It's Ashley Taylor Sosa. No combining." We both laughed.

"Okay hun." She hugged me. "But it will work out. I promise." I nodded and she left me alone. I started to cry as I shifted my gaze back to the dark gray sky.

I looked towards the puddles on the ground. Nikki was sitting on our bench. I swear I have the weirdest sister ever. I watched her out my window till about 4:05p.m. I knew she was crying and that's why she just wanted to sit in the pouring rain.

I realized in that second instead of Jimmy's death bringing us all closer it was going to tear us all apart.

I also realized that the part of my sister that opened up to people was gone. Jimmy took down her "walls" and now that he's gone she's putting them right back up. I'm gonna miss that part of Nicolette. I placed my hand against the cool, wet glass.

"Goodbye." I shut my curtains.


	8. On My Own

"Nicolette"

I've been sitting in the rain for about 5 hours. I pulled out my phone and used my jacket to protect it from the rain. It's been 2 weeks, 6 days and 22 hours since Jimmy died. If I want to keep from breaking down completely I need to think of everything in terms of numbers and logic. So I'm counting.

I stopped getting attached to people in 7th grade. Since then people took me as shy and quiet so they avoided me. If they talked to me they could tell I was anything but quiet but no one ver did. Not until Mimi came along. Mimi is my closest friend and more often then not my only friend. She decided I'd be good at stage managing so I became part of the theatre crowd and I was finally happy.

Jimmy automatically "adopted" me as a younger sister. Even though people thought mimi was the only person I got close to, like ususal, they were wrong. Jimmy was my first boyfriend. Sure, things didn't work out but I still love him like he's family.

I got up from the bench I was sitting on and started walking.

I was so stupid. I let myself get close to someone and now look where it got me. Nowhere. No, not nowhere. It got me heartbroken, alone, crying in the rain.

I got to Loria Music before I decided to walk to Mimi's house. I thought about calling for a ride but I was almost there so I didn't see the point in bothering anyone. After Jimmy died I decided I was done with opening up to people. In the past two weeks I've managed to detach from everyone. I haven't talked to Mimi since his funeral.

When I was in the 7th grade my best friend was Elizabeth Megan Whiney. She died on January 22nd, 12 minutes before she turned 13. Her mother was HIV positive and when Lizzy was born Lizzy got AIDS. I stopped getting close to people after her death.

Well, I tried to. Jimmy had a way of making even the harshest and most closed of person feel like they were loved. He was amazing. Well, he was. That's what I like the most about rain. You can cry all you want and no one will ever notice.

I got to Mimi's house soaked in rainwater and in tears. I rang the doorbell and she flung the door open and hugged me. She obviously missed me.

I would've missed her too. Exept I'm numb now.


	9. Bad Romance

"Alicia"

"Stop!" I screeched.. Adelina and Jayden have been flicking water at me for a good ten minutes now.

"Is my little sister afraid of a little water?" Adelina laughed.

"Okay one you are an hour and 24 minutes older then me and two I'm not afriad of water I just don't want my soda to get wet. Duh!" Now the words made a lot more sense inside my head,

"Do you realize how..." Jayden started laughing hysterically.

"Yeah, I know." I got up and walked to the kitchen. On my way back into the living room I heard Adelina and Jayden whispering. Now, I could NOT miss an chance to eavesdrop on my siblings.

"She doesn't like you Jay!" Adelina said in an extremly harsh whisper.

"Then why did she make it her mission to keep me and Autumn apart?" Jayden said in an equally harsh tone.

_**Oh, Mimi.**_ I thought as I sipped my soda. _Wait WHAT? I leaned in closer to the doorway._

_ "She doesn't want Autumn to get hurt. You haven't had luck wiht not hurting your girlfriends."_

_ "Well. I just..." Jayden stuttered. "I like Mimi. This could be good for the both of us."_

_ Before anything else could be said I walked back into the living room. I looked at Adelina then at Jayden._

_ "She doesn't like you." I shook my head. "She wants to protect Autumn. Trust me Jayden don't try anything. You'll get hurt. you're very sensitive when it comes to love. Mimi would never hurt you on purpose but her mind still isn't working right. She used to like you but not anymore. Please don't do this. I don't want you to get hurt." The room was silent as they both stared at me. I leaned against the wall._

_ "That was incredibly deep for someone who just complained about their soda getting wet." Adelina laughed but Jayden just looked at me. _

_ "Shut up." I walked out of the room and I raced up to my room. I felt Addy following me._

_ "You're not gonna stop me." I said picking up my phone. _

_ "He needs to make his own mistakes." She said as I put the phone to my ear._

_ "He's not gonna do this to himself." She left the room as I heard the Finale B from Rent playing in my ear._

_ "Hello? Alicia?" _

_ "Yeah. Angel, We got a problem."_

_ "What?" He asked._

_ "It's about Jayden and Mimi."_


	10. Confessions

"Jayden"

I looked at my cellphone, 3:29. I sighed and got out of my truck. I looked at Mimi's house and frowned. I never felt akward going to visit her until today. I had alot to apologize for. I haven't seen Angel or Meems in 5 days. I've tried calling, texting, emailing. Hell, I even facebook messaged them. No answer. I honestly don't blame them though.

I leaned against my truck and let myself relive that day for the millionth time in the past hour.

_** I rung the doorbell and ran my hand over my hair. Mimi opened the door and I smiled. She invited me in and I told her we needed to talk. **_

_** "Whats up/" She asked. I sat next to her and put my hand on her thigh. She was wearing a denim mini skirt so I was touching bare skin. She looked down at my hand confused. I smiled as I felt the rush of the cocaine hit my system.**_

_** "I know you like me mimi." I leaned in so my face was inches from hers. "You don't have to pretend anymore." I kissed her. She pulled away and slapped me across my face. Even the drugs pumping through my veins couldn't mask the pain. The sound of the slap was enough to send Angel rushing in from the other room. He saw me and instantly knew what happened. He looked pissed.**_

_** "Look Jayden." Mimi looked me dead in the eyes. Her brown eyes didn't sparkle like they used to. "I know you like me and that's fine but there are a million and one reasons why we won't be together. And if you think you can kiss me whenever you damn well please you have so serious issues." I glanced at Angel who till that moment apparently didn't know I kissed her. I took a step towards the door. "Yeah. I'm not done." I stopped. "We are never gonna happen. Not now and not ever so get that through your thick skull." I stormed out. The drugs made my temper worse then usual. I felt my pockets and realized I didn't have my keys. I turned around and Angel was there. **_

_** "Looking for these?" He dangled the keys in front of me. I reached for them and he put them in his pocket. "We're gonna talk. Right now." Mimi looked out the window and yelled at Angel to come inside. He of course ignored her.**_

_** "You stay away from this house. I don't want to see your face abck here until you learn to control yourself. Do you think thsi is what Jimmy meant by taking care of Mimi/ Trying to get with her?" I glanced back at the window. Mimi left as soon as he said Jimmy. She slammed the door shut and I could hear here stamp up the stairs.**_

_** "You think you're so much better then me. Why? Because you're gay and don't see Mimi like every other guy does? Or because you're trying so hard to be Jimmy. You're not Jimmy," I tried so hard ot calm myself down but the coke had other plans. "You're not her brother and you never will be so you can stop being such a bitch towards everyone who trys to get within a foot of her." He smiled smugly at me.**_

_**"I don't think I'm better then you, I know I am. And no it's not because I'm gay. It's because I think before I do things. And just so you know. Jimmy wasn't Mimi's brother. Mimi was adopted, She has a brother and I've spent the past two weeks trying to track him down. Well, guess who else was adopted and turns out is her brother." I could feel my jaw drop. "Me." He threw the keys at me. "So before you open your mouth how about you actually think." He started to walk away.**_

_** "'I'm getting a lesson on how to behave from a queer? Really?" The words came flying out before I could stop them. I didn't know why I even thought them. I think it't the drugs. Before I could blink I felt a fist full force against my cheek. Instantly I tasted blood and felt a hole where my wisdom tooth was.**_

_** "This is why I'm better then you." He said calmly. "Because even though you just treated me like I was shit. I'm still worried about you." He turned away and walked back inside slamming the door behind him.**_

I sighed and walked to the front door. I felt awful for how I acted not to mention my jaw is still sore from where he punched me. Angel opened the door. I offered him a smile but he frowned.

"Who is it?" Mimi called.

"Carlo." He lied flawlessly, never taking his eyes off me. '"I got it."

"Okay." Mimi laughed. "I'll be in the basement."

"Okay." He shut the door behind him and stepped outside.

"I need to apologize." His expression softened.

"Really?" I nodded.

"Yes." I looked down. "I was way out of line kissing Mimi and what I said to you was not only unforgivable but cruel and hurtful. I had no right to do anything I did. I treated you both like shit. I was a stupid, insecure..." He stopped me.

"If you're here to call yourself names just go home."

"I'm not here to call myself anything. I'm here to apologize and ask for forgiveness even though I don't deserve it.'

"No you don't. Do you even remember what happened?" I nodded.

"I've relived it at least a hundred times since I left my house to come here." I looked back up at him. "What I did was unacceptable and I'd never be able to live with myself if I didn't try to make things better."

He nodded. We stood in silence until a question struck me.

"Is it true what you said about mimi being your...?" He shushed me and looked at the door.

"You can't tell a soul! Mimi doesn't even know." I nodded.

'I won't." I smiled and he smiled back. We hugged and as he pulled away it was like a boulder was lifted off my shoulders. Now I just have to talk to Mimi.

"You wanna go talk to...?" He gestured to the door.

"Yeah. Do you think she'll handle it okay?" He laughed.

"When does anyone ever know how Mimi will act?" I laughed and he opened the door. We both walked through the house till we got to the basement stairs.

"Holler if she tries to kill you." He smiled. "I'll give you a moment in private." I walked down the stairs slowly trying to be as quiet as possible.

"How's Carlo?" She laughed. She was rummaging through her bookshelf so her back was towards me. I sighed silently. She thought i was Angel.

"Hi Meems." She turned around as soon as she heard my voice.

"Angel!" She yelled.

He knows I'm here." I took a step away from her. "I came to apologize. I just want to say I'm sorry for the way I behaved. It was so not appropriate and I had no right to..." She put her hand on my cheek and I flinched. It was still sore to the touch.

'What happened?" She looked up at me. I sighed and looked down.

"Angel punched me." She rolled her eyes.

"Did you deserve it?"

"Yes." I looked back up at her and she smiled. She kissed my cheek.

"I forgive you." She hugged me. "None of us have been ourselves lately and the stress is making us do crazy things. Myself included." She pulled away and frowned. She looked at me knowingly. I had a sudden urge to cover the small but visible needle markings on my arm. Somehow I think she knew. "Let's just leave it as something that never happened." She smiled.

"Okay. You wanna see Angel come flying?" She laughed and nodded.

"Angel! OW!" I yelled. He ran down the stairs.

"Mimi, don't kill him." She started laughing and she rolled her eyes. I felt alot better now that I knew my "family" didn't hate me. Mimi tucked herself under my arm.

"Damn!" Angel smiled.

"What?" Mimi and I both asked.

"I got you good." He tapped my cheek. "Not too bad for a queer." I frowned. He just smiled.

"It's all good." He said. Mimi squeezed me and we all walked upstairs.


	11. I Will Always Love You

"Sam"

I held the diamond ring in my hand. I knew it was perfect. It was my mom's. She hasn't worn it since dad died so she all insisted I use it and not just leave it in her old "memories" box. My dad died 3 years ago from leukemia. I held the ring in the little beam of light coming through my window. Perfect.

Today, in two hours, I am proposing to Autumn Lynn Mozdzierz. Contrary to what most people believe Autumn and I haven't been dating since jimmy's death. We have been dating for almost 6 years now. She was my ex-girlfriend Pixie, well Jessica's, best friend. That is until she dumped me for Autumn's boyfriend Kevin. But I guess everything worked out for the best.

Mimi tried to get us together after Jimmy's death but quickly realized she was 5 years, 11 months and 25 days late. Having been dating since she was 19, now that we were both 25, I think it's time for us to make it official. We've talked about marriage before but never for a long period of time or in a very serious matter. I'm not positive how she feels but I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with her.

I put the ring back in the black and red velvet box and put it in my pocket. I heard my doorbell ring. I looked out the window and Autumn smiled up at me. I raced down the stairs and grabbed my car keys. I pulled the door open and kissed her.

"Hi sweetie." She said as I pulled away.

"Ready to go?" She nodded and I grabbed her hand and pulled her to my car. She tried to get to the drivers seat.

"No." I opened the passenger side door for her. "Not today. I have something special planned." She smiled and got in. I shut the door behind her.

"Anywhere special?" She asked fiddling with my radio. I nodded and smiled.

There's a little nook of sandy hook that no one knows about. I know about it because it's where my dad proposed to my mom. They would've been together for 45 years this past April..

When we got to the beach she raced out of the car and straight to the water. I took my time getting there. I was more then a little nervous about this.

"Do you remember this place?" She took a step back on the sand and shook out her wet hair.

"Nope." She looked around. "Should I?" She turned her back towards me so I got down on one knee and pulled the ring box out of my jean pocket.

"No. But you will." She turned around and started to cry. "Autumn Lynn Mozdzierz will you marry me?" She got down on her knees and kissed me.

"Of course." She put her hand out and I placed the ring on her finger. She got up and spun around. For once in my life I didn't have anything on my mind. Nothing but me and her alone on a beach.

We didn't stay at the beach long. Autumn didn't have a towel or anything and I didn't want her to catch a cold.

"So her sister is coming back from three years in the marines." Autumn explained on our way to Mimi's house.

"That's great." She frowned. "It's not great?"

"No because you see Mimi and her parents neglected to tell her Jimmy died.

"Ouch!" I said.

"Yeah so she asked if her 'older sister' could come for moral support." She drew air quotes around older sister.

"Okay." She had her hand resting on the arm rest so I grabbed it and we held hand the rest of the ride to Mimi's.

"Where do you want to get married?" she asked in a moment of pure silence.

"Well a church is to simple and you deserve something special." She smiled. "Our Beach?" We pulled up to Mimi's and she got out of the car. "What kind of wedding do you want?" I got out and stretched.

"Um, something simple but beautiful." She smiled and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "And you?" She looked up at me.

"One that makes you mine." she kissed my cheek and we walked up the pathway to Mimi's house arm in arm.


	12. Memory

"Angela"

I stared out the window of the plane. I quickly pulled my shade down once my head stared to spin. You would think that being in war would make me immune to little things like motion sickness but sadly no. I looked at my watch, only four hours, 6 minutes and 13 seconds left. It was now 11:05am eastern standard time. It was so nice to not have to convert time into military speech. The is something i definitely won't miss.

_**"Get down!" My superior officer yelled. "Petty officer Conord. Very sloppy." A bomb went off next to me. I grabbed my best friend and fellow marine Jessica's hand. **_

_** We took out our snipers and ran to the top of a sand dune. We looked for enemy targets but saw no one. **_

_** "I think it's clear." Jess went to stand up.**_

_** "Jess! No!" I screeched.**_

_** A gun rang out and I pulled her down. I looked over at her and saw all the color was gone from her eyes. I took her to the base but it was too late.**_

"Seat belts on, prepare for landing." The loud voice shook me out of my daze. I wiped my eyes and put my seatbelt back on. I looked at my watch. _**Wow, **_I thought. I sat and thought for about 4 hours. I shook my head.

I would never recover from the death of my best friend and fellow marine, Jessica Marie Weaver.


	13. Concrete Angel

Mimi.

I shut the driver side door and sighed. I clicked the locks as Angel extended his arm. I tucked myself under his shoulder and Autumn grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently.

"Are you okay Meems?" Autumn asked as Sam wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Today is officially four weeks since Jimmy's death.

"Yes." I said sighing. I closed my eyes as they led me through the airport. We just stood together until I saw Angela. As she saw me she dropped her bags to the ground. I pulled away from my friends and ran into her open arms. She pulled back and kissed the top of my head.

"Hey Marcy." She said pulling back. Everyone laughed. "What?"

"It's Mimi now." I smiled at her.

"Okay Mimi." She looked behind me. "Where's the brat I call my little brother?" She said laughing. I felt my heart rise up to my throat.

"Angela!" Angel called from behind me. She looked over my shoulder and walked to hug him. I turned towards them. He winked at me and offered a smile. I mouthed "Thank you" and he nodded. "We missed you!" He said a little louder then needed.

"Aw. I missed you guys too!" She said reintroducing herself to Autumn and Sam whom she went to school with.

Angel slowly walked towards me as I began picking up her bags. He took one from my hand.

"It'll be okay Kiddo." He whispered too quiet for anyone else to hear but me. I nodded.

"Where are mom and dad?" Angela said as we walked through the airport doors into the parking lot.

"Puerto Rico. With Nana and Poppy." I said handing Angel a bag as I unlocked my car. He walked to the bag and threw them in the trunk.

"Wow, they must've really wanted to get away." She responded. I nodded and got into the driver's seat as Angel got into the passenger side door. "So Jimmy went with them?" I started the car and gripped the arm rest as I pulled out of the parking spot.

"No." I said as Angel grabbed my hand that was strangling the arm rest. He squeezed it gently and offered me a smile. I shifted my eyes back to the road.

"Then where is he?" She asked innocently. It almost surprised me to hear that someone truly did not know what happened. Rahway wasn't a big town so news got around really fast and everyone knew Jimmy died.

"Remember when I was little I used to get really bad nightmares?" I asked.

"Yes. About me and Jimmy dying. Then we would spend the night in you room telling stories and eating cookie dough." The light tone of her voice made me sick to my stomach. Her voice cracked as my weird question set in. "Why?"

"Angela. On the last day of school Jimmy and Graciana were driving home and they got into a car accident." I heard her breathe in shallowly and Angel held my hand even tighter. "Jimmy's dead. He died on June 24th at 1:23 am." Angela began to cry so Autumn wrapped her arms around her. Sam put his hand on her shoulder and patted Autumn's leg. "Gracie is fine except she has a huge scar down her face and a sprained wrist." I sighed and bit back tears as I turned onto Linden Avenue.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She said through tears.

"We figured it'd be easier for you to handle if you were around family and friends who have already gone through it." I said taking my hand out of Angel's and putting it back on the wheel.

"Oh." She stopped crying as I pulled into the driveway. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" I asked.

"Talk about him without feeling like someone shot you in the heart and then sucked it out by sticking a straw down your nose?" Her now empty tone scared me. She defiantly changed while she was away. I didn't like it. She sounded emotionless. Like a robot, not like the fun loving, overly dramatic sister she was.

"Well." I paused. That was a good question. I opened my door and leaned against the car. "It's obvious that mom and dad don't help. I guess I just think that if he was like watching me or whatever he wouldn't want me to be miserable." I shrugged. "And I have amazing friends who've been by my side the whole time." Angel, Autumn and Sam all smiled at me.

Angel walked to the door as Autumn and I grabbed Angela's bags. He unlocked the door.

"You okay?" Autumn asked.

"Yeah." She put her left hand in mine and I pulled away when I felt something sharp hit my hand. I grabbed her hand. "Is that?" My jaw dropped as I looked closer at a delicate but stunning little princess cut, diamond ring.

"An engagement ring!" She whispered ecstatically as I squealed happily. "Sh!" She said laughing.

"When?" I whispered linking my arm in hers as we walked towards the house.

"Right before I came over. You are the first to know so hush up." She winked at me before she walked gracefully into my house. I rolled my eyes. I loved how her and Sam were so blissfully happy.

I sat down in my usual spot in the living room as Angela took her bags upstairs. I wrapped my arms around my knees as I heard her start crying when she reached the top of the stairs. Angel leaned over and hugged me tightly.

"When are you gonna tell them?" He asked gently.

"Well, my parents won't be back till August 16th so they'll find out then obviously. And I'll tell Angie tomorrow I suppose." I leaned my head on the back of the couch.

"What?" Sam asked pulling Autumn onto his lap. She giggled and snuggled into his chest.

"Well I turned 18 on June 25th and I've always dreamed of moving out as soon as I could but since I can't move to NYC until I finish high school Angel, Nikki and I are gonna rent a downtown apartment. We get the keys on the 23rd." Angel laughed.

"You mean tomorrow kiddo?" He asked.

"Yes." I said smiling. No school meant I had no way of keeping track of the days.

"That's great Meems!" Autumn said.

"How are you gonna afford it?" Sam asked.

"Leave it to your Fian..." She shot daggers at me, "You're boyfriend," I corrected myself, "To ask a question like that."

"I have my two jobs and Nikki does babysitting." Angel explained.

"And Mimi?" Autumn asked._** CRAP! **_I thought as angel turned to me.

"Don't be mad." I said looking at him.

"Why would I be...?" He began but then he looked towards the piano. "MIMI!" He got to his feet.

"The highest bid is up to $75 each." I said standing up,

"I don't care! Why the hell would you do that?" He was mad. I bit my lip.

"What?" Autumn asked getting in between us.

"She sold her guitars." Angel said sitting on the couch, putting his head in his hands.

"Look, I'm..." I started but stopped as a red-eyed Angela sat down on the couch

"What did I miss?" She said trying to hide the fact that she was obviously devastated.

"Nothing really." Sam said pulling Autumn back into him. Angel placed his hand on my thigh and gently gripped it till I looked at him. "We'll talk about this later." He mouthed as Autumn kept Angela's attention with small talk. I nodded. He offered a smile that let me know he wasn't completely angry with me.

I looked back up at Autumn, Sam and Angela who were chatting mindlessly about what it was like in Iraq. I glanced at the clock. Sam caught my glance and shifted as he saw the clock.

"Autumn baby, you're curfew is ten." He said lifting her gently off his lap.

"Crap." She said. "Okay, bye guys." I got up as she gave me a hug and kissed my cheek.

"Congrats." I whispered too quiet for anyone else to hear. She smiled at me and hugged me again.

"Bye everyone." Sam said grabbing Autumn's hand and pulling her out the door. She laughed as he picked her up bridal style and carried her to his car. I smiled at them.

"I'm going to sleep." Angela announced. I nodded.

"Good night." I said giving her a big hug. "I missed you." I whispered into her shoulder.

"I missed you too baby girl." She said kissing my forehead.

"Goodnight Angie." Angel said hugging her. She nodded and walked up the stairs.

"You okay Meems?" He asked me.

"Actually, yeah." I said, surprising myself a little at my newfound strength. "I thought I'd fall apart but I'm actually okay." He bit his lip like he was thinking. "What?" I said as he left the room and walked into the basement.

"Give me a second." He said rummaging through the bookshelves. He pulled out a small blue book.

"Jimmy's old song book?" I asked feeling my heart pound. He nodded.

"I figured you wouldn't go looking through this." He opened it up and a small blue envelope fell out.

"What's this?" I said as he picked it up and placed it in my hands.

"It's from Jimmy, Mimi." He walked me over to a couch that was pushed against the wall. I sat down and slowly traced my fingers over my name in his all-too-familiar handwriting. I looked up at Angel before I opened it.

Mimi,

I started each letter the same except for yours. I know that because you are reading this something must have happened to me. I am so sorry my dear Marcela. I told you I'd always be there for you but sadly I failed you. Mimi, you are a strong girl. The strongest I know but the people around you will help you. You can let yourself hurt. Your friends love you. I love you too and I'm so sorry I left you.

I hate to have the last thing you have of me involve your past. I hate to bring up the fact that you were adopted but I must. You know you have a twin brother who we never actually tracked down 'cause it was too painful for you. Well, I found him Mimi. I didn't put his name in the letter because it is entirely up to you whether or not you want to know who he is. I was going to give you the option to find out who he was when you turn 18 so clearly if you are reading this my plan failed.

His name is written in the back of my bible. If you want to know who he is you can find my bible on the top drawer of my desk in the basement office. I love you Marcela. I am so sorry that I failed you. Take care of yourself Meems. No day but today my dear.

~James Richard Conord

I sat frozen in my spot after reading the letter for the tenth time. Part of me didn't want to know who my biological brother was but my curiosity got the best of me as I slowly got to my feet and walked to the desk in the office. I heard Angel follow me as I pulled open the drawer and grabbed an old torn up bible. I walked back to the couch and slowly fingered through the pages till I reached the back cover. There was a small envelope taped to the back cover that said Camilla on it. I rolled my eyes. Jimmy would be the only one to make it this difficult. I pulled open the envelope and held a small index card in my hands. I took a deep breath and turned it over in my hands. In the center of the index card was a name. Only three words, a small name but it made my heart stop deep in it's tracks:

Angel Miguel Shultz

I looked up at Angel who looked confused. I smiled and hugged him as tight as I could. He kissed my head.

"Are you okay Kiddo?" He asked smiling like I was insane.

"Actually, yes. Yes I am." I handed him my letter and smiled as he read it. He looked up at me and I handed him the index card.


	14. Dirty Little Secret

"Tyler"

"Hey Mimi." I said unlocking the back gate and hugging her.

"Hey." She hugged me back and smiled as she took the bag of chips in my hand. "Thanks a bunch." She leaned close to my ear and whispered. "Ashley is inside. I'll keep her busy." I smiled and she nodded.

I sat down in the hammock and just let myself relax. Leave it to Mimi to throw a party two days after her sister comes home. I saw Graciana walk in, she pushed her sunglasses onto her head and smoothed out her mini skirt. She flashed me a smile when she noticed I was staring at her. I shifted my glance to the ground. I've always thought Graciana was hot but she just broke up with Alec and Ashley just broke up with me.

"Yo, Tyler." Jayden called form behind the grill. "Help me out bro?" I got up and walked over to him.

"How did Mimi manage to get you to cook?" I said laying burgers on the grill.

"Long story." He said.

"She's got you on a leash dude." I said laughing. He rolled his eyes.

"Shut up." He said.

I wiped my hands on my shorts and walked to the front of the house. I sat on the bench out front and looked to the street. I heard the front door open and shut.

"Hey." I looked up as Graciana sat down next to me.

"Hi." I said jumping a little as she put her hand on my thigh.

"You look really hot today, you know?" She said biting her lip and smiling slightly.

"Yeah." I said trying to come up with a suave comeback. "The sun is really killing me today." I cursed myself mentally. But she just laughed.

"You are really funny." She said moving closer to me. "Is this okay?" She asked innocently. I nodded. _**Holy crap! She's coming onto me.**_

__"And this?" She said sitting on my lap and snaking her arms around my neck.

"Yes." I said pulling her closer to me by her waist.

"And this?" She said inching closer to my face. Finally she pressed her lips to mine and kissed me hard and fiercely. I grabbed her waist and carried her down the street to my car.

"What are we doing?" She muttered pulling away from the kiss. I placed her on the hood of my car as I unlocked the door. I picked her up and kissed her. I placed her in the backseat and locked the doors as I climbed in.

"You don't need Alec." I said sliding next to her. I saw her face turn white as she realized the doors were locked.

"Tyler, I don't want to..." I pushed her onto her back and kissed her neck down to her collarbone. She put her hands into my chest to push me off her. "Stop Tyler, I just wanted to kiss you. Stop!"

"Trust me Gracie." I ran my fingers through her hair and kissed her lightly on the lips, bitting her gently.

"Tyler. No." She said weakly. I slid my hand under the back of her tank top and rubbed her back gently. "You can't tell anyone." She said looking at the window above her head.

"Our secret." I promised her leaning back down to kiss her. This time there was no resistance. I pulled her tank top off over her head. She smiled bravely as she pulled off my T-shirt.

I watched as she unbuttoned my jeans and tugged them off. I smiled.

I didn't need Ashley I thought as I unhooked her bra and dropped it to the floor. I didn't need Ashley I thought as she slid my boxers off. I need Ashley I thought as I realized there was no going back now.


	15. Papa Don't Preach

"Graciana."

"Morning Autumn." I said as I plopped into a seat in the kitchen.

"Good morning Gracie." She said smiling brightly. She cracked an egg and put it in a pan. "Do me a favor and grab the onions and peppers from the bottom of the fridge?" She asked. I nodded and got up.

"Here you go." I said putting them next to her.

"You mind cutting them for me?" She asked cracking another egg.

"Surely." I said smiling. The minute the knife cut into the onion I felt sick to my stomach. I dropped the knife and ran to the bathroom. I fell to the floor and vomited up everything in my stomach. I heard footsteps outside the door.

"You okay Gracie?" Autumn's gentle voice slipped through the door. I lifted my head from the toilet bowl seat but fell back into it as I threw up again.

"Autumn." I muttered as I vomited yet again. She cracked the door open and sat down next to me. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders as I dry-heaved the nothing that was in my stomach.

"Are you okay baby girl?" She said holding me tightly.

"No." I said starting to cry. "Autumn. I think that was morning sickness."

"Morning sickness?" She laughed. "Sweetie, only pregnant women get morning sickness." I looked up at her and she jumped to her feet. "Graciana, please tell me you're not."

"I don't know." I said collapsing to the floor. I placed my head against the edge of the bathtub to soothe my burning face.

"I'll be back in about 15 minutes. I'm going to get a pregnancy test." She said leaving the bathroom. I heard the front door shut and her car start.

I slowly got to my feet and walked to my room. I laid down on my bed. I closed my eyes. Today was August 25th so It's been about a month since I slept with Tyler. I haven't gotten my period since we had sex. I just threw up. _**Oh, god.**_I thought.

I started to cry. I knew it was a huge mistake. I sat in my bed shaking for what seemed like forever. I heard the front door open and Autumn come up the stairs. She saw me shaking and walked to my bed. She dropped the plastic bag she was carrying.

"Shh. Shh. Shh." She said holding me. "It's okay, no matter what happens it's okay. It'll all be okay." She reached into the bag she dropped and handed me a little box.

"How do I work it?" I said standing up.

"Pee in the cup then put the stick in it. Let it sit for 15 minutes then it will either say 'Pregnant' or 'Not pregnant' on the screen." She explained. I nodded and hugged her. She held me tightly.

"Thank you." I whimpered. She kissed my head and nudged me towards the bathroom. I knew I was pregnant. I didn't need a cup and a little stick to tell me that. I knew my body and I just knew.

"Hey Tyler." I took a sip of my smoothie.

"Hi Gracie." He said sitting in the seat across from me. "What's up? You sounded very out of it on the phone."

"I am." I sighed. "Our little secret. Yeah, it's not so secret anymore. Or at least it wont be."

"What? Why?" He leaned closer to me and looked around us very worriedly. "Did Ashley find out?" I rolled my eyes.

"Our problem's are slightly bigger then Ashley finding out." I said.

"You are fucking kidding me." He said standing up. "You are pregnant aren't you?"

"No. We are pregnant." I said sighing.

"You are! And you're keeping it?" His eyes bulged.

"Yes I am." I said strongly. "I took the pregnancy test a week ago and I saw my doctor yesterday. I'm not getting an abortion. So we're in this mess together now."

"Screw that. I'm out of here. I don't want anything to do with you or that thing in you." He said gesturing to my stomach. "Don't call me. Don't email me. Hell, don't even facebook me. Nothing."

"You know what. You don't deserve this baby." I put my hand on my stomach. "You forced me into having sex with you. You'll pay child support but I don't want you near him."

"Him?" He asked. "Oh that's fantastic." He rolled his eyes.

"I don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet. It's too early. I'm only a month and a week along." I said crossing my arms.

"Well whatever. Be prepared to go to court once he or she is born. I'm not giving you a dime." He said walking out of Starbucks. I walked out after him and walked out to the curb. My phone rang.

"Hey Autumn." I said sighing.

"It's Jayden. Autumn says she wants you home. She says to emphasize that you _**need **_to eat." He sounded distant.

"M'kay Jay."

"Bye Gracie." He hung up. I looked through my contacts and hit send.

"Graciana?" He sounded surprised. I didn't blame him.

"Yeah. Look Alec, I need a ride home from Starbucks in Westfield and I need to talk to you." I said shyly.

"Okay Gracie." He sighed. "I'll be right there."

"Thank you Alec. I miss you." I said softly. He didn't respond.


	16. Lean On Me

"Autumn."

"I gotta go now." Sam went to get up but I pulled him back on the couch and kissed him.

"Do you have to?" I whined and pouted. He smiled and kissed me.

"Yes." He looked at his watch. "My shift starts in an hour. I have lives to save baby." He kissed my forehead.

"Fine." I growled. He kissed my again on the lips. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Autumn." He said smiling. "I'll be by later." He grabbed his keys and kissed me.

"M'kay." I said smiling. He blew me a kiss before leaving. I leaned against the back of the couch and looked at my ring. It was so beautiful. The doorbell rang and I got up to open the door.

"Hey Autumn." Jayden said frowning. "Can I come in please?"

"Are you okay?" I said stepping out of his way. He looked very jumpy.

"No." He rubbed his nose. " He sat on the couch. "Autumn, I need help." He rubbed his nose again and sneezed.

"God bless you." I said wrapping my arm around his shoulders. "Jay, you're my brother, I'm always here for you." I smiled but he looked away from me. "What's wrong?" I asked. He extended his arm. I looked down and examined his arm. It didn't take me long to realize there were needle marks all centered around his vein.

"Autumn, I have a problem." He said rubbing his nose again.

"Why is your arm covered in needle marks?" I asked putting my hand in his. I felt myself starting to shake. Jayden was the strong one. He kept us all together, when he wasn't trying to sleep with one of us anyway.

"I'm not as strong as everyone thinks." He said looking at me sadly. It all hit me: rubbing his nose, sneezing, needle markings, his jumpiness, his sudden cockiness. He was on cocaine.

"Jayden." I said shaking my head. Leave it to him to get into something like this.

"What are you doing?" He asked walking over towards me.

"Finding you help." I typed 'rehab center' into Google's search bar. "As soon as Sam gets home from work we're driving you to a rehab."

"Autumn you don't need..." I cut him off.

"Shut up. We aren't gonna pretend everything is okay." I looked up at him. His eyes softened and I saw his gratitude. "Do me a favor?"

"Anything." He said. I handed him my phone.

"Call Graciana. Tell her that she needs to come home. She needs to eat something." I said. "Emphasize that she _**needs **_to eat."

"Okay." He said. He looked down at my hand. He picked up my left hand. "Congrats." He said smiling. "It's beautiful."

"Thanks." I said. "It was his mom's. When Sam's dad died she put it in her hope box so when Sam started having me over all the time his mom gave it to him." I smiled.

"That's so sweet." He said putting my phone to his ear. I looked up at him and saw he was happy for me but I knew by the look in his eyes that a part of him still had a thing for me. _**Oh well. Sorry Jay. **_

I got up from the computer after jotting down an address to a rehab and their phone number. I walked into the kitchen and rummaged through the freezer.

"You cook?" Jayden asked sceptically.

"Yes I cook." I said turning around and digging through the junk drawer. "Pizza, Subs, Chicken or Chinese?" I asked holding up a couple take-out menus. He laughed.

"Pizza." He said.

"In my defense I can cook, actually really well I just have a lot on my plate right now. I'm not sure putting me near a stove fire or boiling water is smart." I said rolling my eyes and dialing Papa Vito's.

"True." I handed him the phone.

"Two large pizzas and an order of fries." I said.

"Yes ma'am." He said walking into the living room.

I leaned against the fridge. I loved Sam. I loved Sam a lot. Between Gracie's pregnancy, Jimmy's death and Jayden's drug problems he was the only thing keeping me sane. When he's with me he's the only thing on my mind and I liked it. I liked it a lot.

"Okay so truth or dare?" Graciana said laying down on her side on the floor.

"Dare." Jayden said laughing and taking another bite of his pizza. "I'm always up for a good dare." I laughed.

"With Gracie's dares, I resigned from my invincible attitude about this game." Sam said wrapping his arm around my waist.

"I dare you to call Tyler and tell him you're gay and you're in love with him." Graciana said smiling evilly.

"Gracie, No." I said giving her a stern look.

"Why not?" Jayden asked.

"She knows why not." I said not taking my eyes off her.

"I feel so left out." Jayden said.

"Me too dude." Sam said laughing and pulling me closer to him. I looked up at him and smiled. He knew Gracie was pregnant. We talked to him before we took her to see a gynecologist. But he knew she didn't want anyone to know yet so he kept his mouth shut.

"Love you." I whispered kissing his jawline.

"Love you too." He whispered back.


	17. Breakaway

"Angel."

I wrote my name across a brown box of my hair care supplies. I grabbed the box and walked it to Mimi's jeep. She had Rent blasting with the trunk and all doors open.

"Is that it?" Mimi yelled, leaning out of my room window.

"There's one or two boxes left in the office." I yelled back lowering the volume on her radio.

"I'll get them." She said leaning back inside. I walked through my screen door. My mom was sitting on a couch staring into space.

"Mom." She looked up.

"You scared me Chico." She said I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm gonna miss that." I said looking down.

"Miss what my love?" She asked standing up.

"You're sweet voice with the slight hint of a Spanish accent." I said sadly.

"You're adorable. You aren't moving to Puerto Rico Chico. You are moving downtown. You will see me all the time and call me as often as you can." She said hugging me. "Te voy a estranar."

"I'll miss you too mom." I said starting to cry. She laughed and dried my tears. We both looked as Mimi tried not to interrupt us but ended up tripping and dropping the box. My mom walked over to her and hugged her.

"I trust you'll take care of my Angel, Mimi Chica?" She asked.

"Of course mom." She said picking the box back up.

"She had been like a sister to you." She said glancing at me. I exchanged a glance with Mimi and we laughed.

"I try." Mimi said smiling.

"I'm sorry for your loss Chica." My mom said suddenly solemn and serious. "I don't think I ever really conveyed my sincerest condolences." Mimi smiled briefly and nodded.

"Thanks Ms. Shultz." She said walking outside.

"I hope I didn't make her sad." My mom said watching Mimi close up the car.

"She's better then she was but it still hurts her." I explained. She nodded. "I love you mom."

"I love you too Angel." She hugged me tightly.

"Bye bye Sweetheart." I reached into my pocket and handed her back my house key.

"No." She said. "Keep it just in case." I nodded and waved goodbye as I walked outside.

"You okay?" Mimi said as I got into the car and buckled my seatbelt.

"Yes. I'll miss her but we gotta just keep smiling if we want to get to be big Broadway stars." I said smiling.

"Oh god." Mimi said turning off of St. George Ave.

"What?" I asked.

"I have a very bad feeling that this will be a new catch phrase."

"Always smile. Never stop smiling. Forever smile." I laughed and looked at her. "I like the sound of that." She groaned.

"Oh no!" We both laughed. She pulled up right behind my car that was already in our driveway.

"I love how everyone assumed that renting meant an apartment." I said getting out of the car.

"I know." She said laughing. "A two floor Victorian with a huge backyard and a fully furnished basement is defiantly a step up from an apartment."

"True story." I said laughing. She grabbed a hand cart and started wheeling boxes into the house.

"Is Mimi gone?" I heard Nikki whisper. I looked around and couldn't see her.

"Yes. Why?" I asked still looking around. She came out from the side of my guitar carrying Mimi's three guitars.

"How did you?" I asked in awe.

"I was looking for a present for Mimi's birthday and I found them on Ebay. Surprise!" She said laughing.

"You are an angel." I said smiling.

"I try." She smiled back and handed me a guitar. "When are you gonna tell Mimi?"

"Tell Mimi what?" Mimi said walking out of the house.

"Nice going." I said to Nikki.

"Sorry." She muttered.

"It was supposed to be a surprise." I said nudging Nikki.

"Well, now that it's not, What is it?" Mimi asked excitedly.

"We have an audition tomorrow." I said smiling. "In New York."

"Details!" Mimi screamed.

"Rent is going back on Broadway." I said smiling.

"You are kidding me?" She said with wide eyes.

"No. Why would I kid about such a serious topic?" I said laughing as she attacked me with a hug.

"Oh my god!" She said. "I can not believe it."

"Well start believing, we have an audition tomorrow at 10:30 sharp." I said.

"What the hell am I gonna sing or wear?" She smacked my arm. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked. I just laughed.

" You'll sing Out Tonight. You'll wear your black miniskirt with the leopard print tank top and your character shoes with the sparkle leg warmers." I said walking into the house. "I already dug through the boxes to find it all."

"You're the best." Mimi said. "This could be our big break Angel." She said dreamily.

"I know. To both." I laughed.

"Things are totally gonna change." She said bouncing up and down. Nikki laughed.

"You'll need these." She said as she handed Mimi the other two guitars.

"If I wasn't so happy I'd have to kill you." Mimi said laughing and hugging her.

"Yeah, yeah." Nikki said rolling her eyes. "Thing are gonna change. But for the better."

"Hell yeah." I said joining their hug.

On August 29th, 2010 my life changed. So did Mimi's. So did Nikki's. Over the past two months and three days since we lost Jimmy we all changed. In some ways it was worse but in some ways it was for the better.


	18. Unwritten

Epilogue

June 24th, 2011

"Adelina."

"I now present Mr and Mrs. Samuel Matthew Garcia." We all applauded as Autumn and Sam descended the staircase gracefully. Sam got to the bottom first and picked her up off the last step, spun her around and kissed her. Jayden, Alec and Tyler all hollered and got smacked by their dates.

I looked at our table. Much to the management's disapproval we pushed two tables together so all our friends could sit together. Each table sat ten. I smiled as I looked at our little group of friends and some of our newest additions such as Christine who has been with Jayden for a month now and Russell who's been with Mimi since November.

"Would everyone stand as the couple share their first dance as a married couple." The MC's voice said smoothly followed by chairs sliding and heels tapping against the floor. Mimi, Alec's girlfriend Laurie, Gracie, Ashley and Angela all said "AWW" as "This I Promise You" by N'SYNC came on.

Halfway through the song the MC told everyone couples were allowed to join them on the dance floor. Mimi and Russell were the first to walk on to the floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he kissed her. Angel nudged Alec and Jayden to take their dates to dance and they did. Livy took Tyler to dance as Alicia grabbed Nikki's hand and dragged her to the floor literally. Graciana looked at Angela and she nodded. Ashley smiled at Dave and he picked her up bridal style and carried her to the dance floor as she giggled and told him to put her down.

"I'll watch Austin." I told her as she walked away. I picked up Gracie's baby girl as Angel watched everyone dance.

"They are all so happy." Angel said. "A lot has changed since last summer."

"Would you like to recap?" I asked him laughing.

"Why, yes. Yes I would. Let's see Mimi and I got on Broadway and we now do shows every other day. Jayden quit cocaine and has stayed clean. Gracie had Tyler's baby and decided to keep it she also took him to court." He said smiling.

"That was fun." I said. "Autumn got married. Nikki has started tree climbing."

"That's always fun to watch." He said laughing. "Can I hold her?"

"Go for it." I said handing Austin Marie to Angel. "Make sure you support her neck." He nodded.

"She's beautiful." He said smiling.

"I know." I said smiling.

"You okay?" He asked me. "Normally you'd be all over the dance floor."

"Yes. Honestly, I'm just thinking about Jimmy." I said sitting down. He put Austin back in her car seat and sat down next to me.

"He's still here you know." I looked up. "He lives on in all of us. You, Me, Mimi, Jayden, Alicia, Ashley, Gracie, Tyler, Nicolette, Alec, Autumn, Sam and even little Austin. He may not be with us anymore but at the same time he is. He loved you Addie. He loved us all." Angel leaned over and hugged me as I started to cry. "It's okay babe." He said leaning back and looking at me. "If he could talk to you do you know what he'd say?" I nodded.

"He'd say I can't stop living because he's gone." I said drying my tears. Angel smiled and got teary eyed.

"I couldn't have said it better." He hugged me tightly again. Graciana came back as he pulled away.

"Thank you." Gracie said smiling. She picked up Austin and carried her to the dance floor as a Natasha Bedingfield song came on very loudly playing through the room.

"Wanna dance?" Angel said. "You love Unwritten." He smiled as I stood up and nodded. He grabbed my hand.

"Remember Mr. Watson?" Alicia said giggling as she ran up to us with Nikki following close behind her.

"The creepy ass history teacher?" Angel asked her.

"Yes." Nikki said rolling her eyes.

"Yes I do." I said.

"I bet he's the Mr. Watson from the Ke$ha song." She said bouncing up and down. We all laughed hysterically.

"You are so pretty." Angel said patting her on the head. She flipped her hair.

"Yes I am." She said.

"Stunningly beautiful dear." I said laughing. I love inside jokes.

"Wait I don't get it." Alicia said when she realized we all knew something she didn't.

"Well," Mimi said joining in our conversation, "When a performer on Broadway is very blonde and has no idea what is going on around her or says something so stupid instead of pointing out how completely blonde she is we all just say she is pretty." Mimi explained laughing.

"You lost me at and 'has no idea what's going on.' After that it was just pretty music." Alicia said drifting towards a cute boy who was alone. "Dibs!" She said walking over to him.

"The rest is still unwritten..." Mimi muttered as the laughter died down along with the song.

"That it is." I agreed.


End file.
